Bernanke is sending me an e-mail

WHAT’S THE BEST spam e-mail you’ve ever received?

Whatever yours is, I bet mine is cooler, way cooler!

Man, I received an e-mail from Bernanke yesterday! Yes, Ben Shalom Bernanke!! Yes, Bernanke the chairman of the US Federal Reserve, the Central Bank, the… Time 2009 Person of the Year [for preventing the US from an economic catastrophe, so Time did say — I bought a copy of that edition, he had his face printed on the American dollar for the cover, kinda forgot where I put it anyway].

So, to make a long story short, Bernanke is always special to me  [you could check my Blahconomics for an explanation]. Special like… not exactly like Palin is to me. But I give them almost same treatment: never let a single link on Twitter mentioning their names left unchecked.

And it was that Ben S. Bernanke who sent me an e-mail yesterday!! So it was pretty much a blow, despite the fact that — I know it, people — it was merely a dumb gimmick.

Anyway, do you wanna know what he wrote to me? He said I got a full inheritance fund of US$10.5 million from the Nigerian reserve account, thus I need to inform him my account and la la la. He closed his e-mail saying thanks and God bless you. Man!

He’s totally going to bail me out. Ha ha.

And here’s the gimmick, the best one, so far:

PS: Spammers, you’ve proven yourselves!

————–

From: “MR. BEN S. BERNANKE”<brady55@rcn.com>
Date: Fri, 10 Jun 2011 11:26:36 -0700
ReplyTo: <bernankemr.bens@rocketmail.com>
Subject: PAYMENT INSTRUCTIONS FROM BANK FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD

Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System
33 LIBERTY STREET, NY. 10038,
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

RE: CONTRACT FUND CREDIT FROM BANK FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD

ATTN: Fund Beneficiary,

We have received a payment credit instruction from the Federal Government of Nigeria to credit your account with your full Inheritance fund of US$10.5Million from the Nigerian reserve account with our bank.
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Dramatizing poverty

WEEKS AGO, I experienced this one kind of bash that when I remember it I got the sensation of being hit on the back of the head with a rubber hummer. No kidding.

So, weeks ago, while I was having a bowl of ramen at Sushi Tei, Anita, my friend who not so strangely has the same name as mine — given the fact that our name is so popular and cheap, pinged me [for God's sake, she loves to ping, btw].

She stormed out through her messages: “Nit [that's how she calls me], I felt so sad. I just queued in a mini-market with an old man. He bought a plastic of instant noodle. He handed Rp 1,500 [15 cent] to the cashier before carefully putting the Rp 200 change into his old wallet. Only after we were outside that I noticed that he was limping, carried an old torn bag. He probably was going to cook the noodle for dinner.”

You probably have noticed that sometimes I sound like a wrathful utopist when it comes to poverty. Of course, it is so unfair to keep growing gaps, letting the poor getting poorer.

What is a bowl of ramen in Sushi Tei for you? It’s probably just another dinner, no? I remembered I ordered the cheapest ramen because I’ve just had my “dinner” at the office [so yes, I was like having two]. The ramen cost me Rp 40,000+ or about $4. What is a 4 dollar for you?

Let’s face the fact, at the very same time while you were having your cheapest $4 ramen, Anita, someone out there was having a bowl of 15 cent instant noodle. Weren’t you feeling like crying?

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2011: books, cook, and less shoes

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

How was your new year’s eve? Fun? Mine was magnificent! So, what’s [are] your resolution[s] for the promising 2011, when economic and employment would grow well, so did governments around the world promise us?

Resolutions, I barely remember what were mine last year. Because, I basically was only making God laughed, yeah, by telling Him my plans.

Does plan have the same definition with resolution? My New Oxford American Dictionary says no. But well, my point is: hell yeah resolutions, they are not more than a list. A list that we are making because everybody else is.

So, what are mine this year? Lol. If I am only permitted to do a cover on Jamie Cullum’s Next Year Baby, that would be perfect! That would explain it all, my resolutions, yep, you should know because they are tremendously important! No?

I will still do it, anyway, the cover. I mean, improvise the lyrics, not the arrangement. Tee hee. See below for Jamie’s version!

And compare it to mine

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Put your high heels on and catch a bouquet

“YOU PUT HIGH heels on and you change,” Manolo Blahnik, the Spanish fashion designer, once said.

Anita Rachman is neither a fan or a wearer of high heels, but she would be glad if she is allowed to improvise the line. Because she just had a sacred high heels experience over the weekend.

“You put high heels on and you’ll catch a hand bouquet,” Anita Rachman, the blog owner, would have said.

I am not dramatizing it. I went to a friend’s, Anita Moran, wedding party on Sunday, and I caught the bouquet. I was yelling and crying, dancing and shaking my body celebrating the catch like a lunatic when I caught the bouquet. No, not in front of the guests, just in my mind.

The pretty bouquet and BlackBerry. Lovely. Sorry, I don’t have the picture of single ladies gathering for the throwing.

So I walked elegantly to the wedding stage and answered the MC’s questions.

“Are you a friend of the bride or the groom? Did you join the ladies crowd right there for the bouquet or the BlackBerry?” asked the wedding MC, famous tv presenter Indra Bekti.

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Obama visit, a pointless nostalgic?

let’s move to some serious talk now

WHO DOESN’T LOVE Barack Obama in this country? Yes, I am talking about the many of you, Indonesians, and not about some hard-liner groups.

I know that many of you quickly updated your Facebook and Twitter’s statuses once he landed in the Halim International Airport last Tuesday, typing “Welcome to Indonesia, Obama!”

Everybody cheered his brief stop. Employees inside office buildings along the Thamrin and Sudirman main streets ran to their “yards” [read: parking lots] or windows in the fourteenth floor wanted to see the car taking Obama to the Indonesian presidential palace in that rainy afternoon.

No, I am not making it up, yes, even people here wanted to see the car he rode.

That Tuesday, colleagues in my office joked HARD on me. Sorry, it’s only caps lock could explain how hard the ‘teasing session’ was, with cameras preying on me. Some even videoed me. They said they wanted to put my happy face seeing Obama, finally visiting Indonesia after his second visit cancellation, on a video. Oh yeah. Pfft.

I must admit that I was one of those fangirls ordered “Obama For President” bag from the Amazon.com. And I did join his inauguration party held here in Jakarta by the Democrat Abroad, or something, I forgot the organization’s name.

But who doesn’t love Obama back then in mid 2008? As long as your names are not McCain and Palin, I think you were feeling him. You know people were frustrated after some eight Bushy years of administrations.

This different man came. People in the US and Europe were praising him. He was an international celebrity. I seriously doubt that you could resist his charm back then. Do you still remember the huge crowd in Berlin, July 2008? Students, teachers, lecturers, copyeditors, traders, poets, celebs, journalists (?) couldn’t hide their enthusiasm and hopes [on him].

While in Indonesia, Obama is somehow seen as more than a celebrity. Many consider him as a comrade, as he spent some years of his childhood in this country. People in this city walk around wearing t-shirts with Obama’s face printed on them. A line under the face saying “Anak Menteng” or “Menteng Boy,” Menteng is an area in Central Jakarta, where little Barry lived with his mother and step-father during his childhood in Indonesia.

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